![]() ![]() “It was the little things that she cared about, not so much the grand gestures,” Dennis explains. “Maybe I felt that I didn’t need to impress her so much since she was already my wife.” He vowed to do more to make Lana feel that she mattered. “It’s not that I didn’t care – I just got complacent,” he says. Things won’t change if your husband doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong,” she says.Īfter talking things through with Lana, Dennis realised that he’d taken her for granted. Don’t just hope the problems will go away – they won’t. “Talk about things that are not working for you soon after they happen. If you feel your marriage has lost its spark and spontaneity, take action, Louise advises. These feelings hadn’t arisen out of the blue they had grown over time.” Lana shares: “I told him that I felt unimportant and neglected. He took it personally and they ended up arguing. The turning point came when one day, Lana joked that Dennis didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. But she stopped trying after a year, realising that she was the only one making any effort. All this gradually stopped as we settled into married life and grew busier with our careers.” To turn things around, she started planning romantic weekend getaways and cooking special meals. “Dennis* used to be very attentive, buying me flowers, writing me love notes and organising surprise dates. Lana*, a teacher, missed the romance of the earlier years of her relationship. In the last three months, they’ve had weekly date nights, enjoyed several weekend meals together at home, and are now planning a second honeymoon in Maldives later this year. The couple promised to invest more time into the relationship, communicate more, and go on regular dates. #7 year itch not married how toHe too felt that the marriage was slowly falling apart but wasn’t sure how to bring it up to Melanie. And be open to what he has to say.Īfter some soul searching, Melanie decided to talk to Thomas about the problem. “Ask him about how he feels, his needs, and any concerns he may have,” says Christina. Sit down with your husband for a heart-to-heart talk. Just like your car needs its weekly petrol fill-ups, your marriage needs regular “check-ins” to keep it going. READ MORE: True story: “My friend’s boyfriend abused her ‘like a dog’ for months” Their passionate lovemaking dwindled to twice monthly because they were both always tired. We thought, ‘Now that we’re married, we have to get serious about our careers and work hard to build our financial future.’”īut while they were building up their nest egg, the couple missed out on quality time together and heart-to-heart talks. “We seldom went on holidays together in the first two years. We work very hard, sometimes well into the night and even on weekends,” she shares. Her friend told her it wasn’t, and that got her thinking. Melanie thought this was normal because of their busy work schedules. She had been speaking to a close friend and let slip that she’d barely spoken to Thomas in over a week, even though they lived together. Two years after Melanie* married Thomas*, she asked herself if her marriage was a mistake. So, three years into your marriage, watch out for these culprits that could bring your happily-ever-after to a premature end. The Netmums survey also highlighted how having children during this time can put added strain on young couples. ![]() ![]() “It is usually in the first few years that a couple realises their marriage is falling short of these expectations.”Ī newly married couple is also under pressure to adapt to a new lifestyle and family, says Christina Spaccavento, a Sydney-based sex and relationship therapist. “Everyone has expectations for what their marriage will be like,” explains Melbourne-based counselling psychologist Louise Cooper. READ MORE: TRUE STORY: “I fought for my marriage after his affair” The study surmised that the “critical period” for couples is the first four years of marriage. In Singapore, a 2003 study published in the Subordinate Courts Research Bulletin revealed that out of 50 couples undergoing civil divorce proceedings, 65 per cent reported marital problems within the first five years of saying “I do”. ![]()
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